Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I have tasted many bathrooms
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
