i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
