the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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