OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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