i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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