I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
