Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
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she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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