Your dad touched me again.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Randomize
