I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
