did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
