Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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