Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
