I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
