so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
