Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
