My Higher Power is John Stamos
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
