we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Randomize
