I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
