just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
