I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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