You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
