So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
