she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
