i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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