I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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