i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
