We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
