he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
