I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
