New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
