so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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