Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
