I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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