i just had sex bonerless
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
