just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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