Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
