I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
