She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
