it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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