pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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