After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
