i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
