Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
