Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
