i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
