dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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