the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
