It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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