I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
