She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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