The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize