SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
