I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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