Kiss
Puke
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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