He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Watching her eat just hurts me
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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