this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
