There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
