Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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