I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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