She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
