I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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