Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize