Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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